Hasta San Antonio: Stories of a maricón's healing journey
This work is an ofrenda—to myself and to others—that applies the epistemology of conocimiento and is enacted through autohistoria-teoría. I navigate, negotiate, and (de/re)construct my own lived experiences—coming out, relationships, (internalized) homophobia. Through this process; I guide myself down the path of self-healing, self-love, understanding, and self-acceptance by merging Chicana/Feminist methodologies and epistemologies, gay affirmative psychology practices, and jotería.
Inspired by two, beautiful songs of La Bien Querida; this work begins by reinterpreting the meaning behind the lyrics and transforming them into a desire to live my life fully—as a maricón. After the reinterpretation of the two songs that inspired this work; I follow up with a literature review on the different methodologies, epistemologies, and practices utilized in my process to accept, understand, and heal from my lived experiences—coming out, relationships, and (internalized) homophobia—in a heteropatriarchal society. I conclude by sharing my lived experiences through narrative as I (de/re)construct them and reflect on myself; coming to terms with how I have grown, where I still am a work in progress, and accepting the things I cannot change.
May this work aid destigmatize epistemologies, methodologies, and practices based on inner knowledge; raises self-awareness in the importance of healing, loving, understanding, and accepting oneself; contributes to Chicanx, Latinx, Transnational, and Queer literature; y para que tú, maricón, recuerdes que mereces vivir tu vida plena y libremente.